Is my 38 year old boyfriend going through a midlife crisis?

by Ali
(Canada)

The Question


My boyfriend and I have been together for almost two months. Things started off amazing between us. He was happy and so full of life and then out of nowhere he was just not the same man. He was more withdrawn, lazy and sad that at 37 he was not married, had no children and wishing his birthday was not near.

At one point he was confused about the two of us and asked for space, but even during that time he kept in contact with me and wanted to keep going with the relationship although at a slower pace. Things started to pick up and he was beginning to be happy, but soon after he becamse hot and cold. One minute he says one thing and then next something else. He wants me around but seems devoid of emotions a lot of the time.

I don't know what to do? Is this a midlife crisis?

Noel's response

It sounds as though he may well be in a midlife crisis.

He will get through it, but there is no way to know how long it will take, or what kind of person he will be when he is finished. If you believe the relationship is worth saving in the long run, you could hang in there and put up with whatever mood he is in at the moment.

You could also let him know what you need in a relationship, and if he can't commit to it, be open to a new relationship.

I suggest you read the other blog entries as well, as many are asking questions very similar to yours, and you might find other useful information in the questions and/or my answers.

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