Is there any hope that my husband might return to me?

My husband left two years ago .He filed for divorce in october 2011.He seemed very happy and always told me he loved me.He made a point of letting everyone know how much he loved me.He has been seeing a woman for almost two years.He tells me she makes him happy .We were such a close and loving family.He was so involved with the catholic church and our kids.He never sees the grandkids(we have three)which he left me right after we had the first one.He has lost his mother ,brother,brother-in-law,sister in-law father all in the last five years.This was a man who put high standers on people and was the pillar of the community.He puts everything into his job yet his job performance has gone way down.I thought he had depression it runs in his family.But know I don't think so.He just told me after 30 years of marriage I was to modest .Why would a man wait 30 years to say something.He said he lost the spark for me.He is verbally and emotionally abusive.We have been intimate again after two years.Please help me understand.There so much more.


Noel's response

When you say you have been intimate again after two years, it suggests that he may be interested in getting back together with you. Or perhaps you were willing, even though he made no commitment to working things out?
If you are talking about getting back together, I suggest marriage counseling. If not, perhaps you need to refuse to be intimate with him if he wants to again.
He has had many losses in the past five years, and he may be depressed, which would explain many things, such as a drop in his job performance. If you look on the depression/irritability page on this website you might find it useful. Perhaps he will too.

You both might also benefit from reading William O. Roberts's book Crossing the Soul's River useful.

Click here to post comments

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to Ask Noel.