It is driving me mad
(Seacoast New Hampshire)
My 52 year old husband is having a midlife crisis and left the house almost four months ago for an apartment 20 minutes away. We have a 16 year old son so he wanted to be nearby for visitation rights.
Yes, he filed for divorce less than 2 months after his emotional needs started to be validated by another woman, an ex from high school no less, that broke his heart 34 years ago. This whole situation is enough to drive me mad!
Recently he has told my son; "I never saw this coming." I asked him about this and he gave me another excuse about us, not the real reason within him. He told me a week after that; "I know you are in pain and I am in pain also." And other statements like; "I am not ready to believe you yet (about loving him)."
What do these statements mean to him? I don't think he has a broken heart like I do so what kind of pain is he feeling? Is it good news that he tells me these few sentences? What is it that he "never saw coming?" Is it guilt, depression, that he has done some stupid things such as having an affair? Please try to help me with these questions Noel, or anyone else that may have dealt with this for themselves.Noel's response
As far as 'not seeing it coming', I have heard from many men who suddenly want to make changes in their lives. They have felt happy and fulfilled, and then one day they don't. Sometimes it is their career, sometimes it is their spouse, but it takes them by surprise when they suddenly find they are no longer happy with their situation.
Many women, as they enter menopause, find the same thing.
Regarding your question 'what do these statements mean to him?', I don't know, as I do not know him.