It's complicated

by V
(Vancouver)

I'm 41, lots of life experience. No job, some skills but a terrible lazy attitude, though I'm energetic and like to complete a task.

Have a girlfriend who is 28, lovely and smart but little experience.
I see great writers, artists, thinkers and feel lost having no accomplishments.
Only I can decide but advice is sometimes helpful.
Really lost, any general advice? Don't think I can handle a boring existence. I must not be normal or emotionally mature, because I'm unsure of future, alienated.

Noel's response

The source of happiness is having something to be enthused about. It sounds as though you don't know what that is for you.

You are at the age of what Daniel Levinson in his book The Seasons of a Man's Life says we go through transitions about every ten years. If do not complete one transition well, the next may be quite trying.
It sounds as though you did not make your 'age 30' transition very completely (i.e. did not take on a career, establish a settled life, etc.), so now are facing the consequences

I suggest do the 'Lifetime Goal Setting Exercise' on the 'Your Life Mission' page of this site, and see whether you can find a clue as to what you have some passion about in the field of work and/or creativity.

The only way not to face a boring life is to create an interesting one. And only you can do that.

Click here to post comments

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to Ask Noel.