Left the marriage and has a girlfriend

by Gerry
(Pennsylvania)

Question

My husband suffers from depression and bipolar disorder and now is in the midst of a midlife crisis. He has left the house and is having an affair with an employee. I fear he could lose his job as she works directly under him and he is the president of his company.

He left, after 29 years of marriage, and told me via text message. He did not say anything to our grown children. He has basically abandoned the only five family members he has left.

Do men in midlife crisis still love their family and spouse deep down. Is the person I married still underneath all of this chaos?

I saved his life from a major clinical depression in 2001 and he has told me that his leaving is not due to anything I have done, that I am a perfect wife and mother, he just doesn't think he loves me anymore.

Noel's response

In a nutshell, I think men in midlife crisis usually do still love their families and spouses, but are wandering around, trying to figure out who they themselves are. Sometimes, when they get it figured out, they return to their spouses (if their spouses still want them), and sometimes they don't.