lieing

I have known my husband for 9 years. We have been married for 3 years. He has Always got mad if I EVER touched his cell phone. He says that I just want to go through it and that means I don"t trust him and makes him feel horrible and hurts him. Back when we were first dating he did lie to me about talking to other girls and that has always bothered me. For the past 8 months I have had this "gut" feeling that he was keeping something from me. I would get the feeling, we would argue, and then everything would be fine for a few weeks.Then the same thing would happen all over again. It started when he came home from work everyday for 2 months straight talking about this female coworker. He would talk about work and her name would be mentioned many times. Eventually It started to become very noticable and I told him that I was tired of hearing her name and to stop talking about her. There was one time she called him at 9pm wanting help signing into her online class on the internet. I thought this was strange.The fact that I dont know her, have never met her and hes talking to her on the phone and it had nothing to do with work really bothered me. Once again we argued and she was not mention for a while. He told me she moved to another state to be with her long distance boyfriend. This was last summer. Long story short she tried contacting him recently , is single and has moved back here and working for the same company he is.He did not know i knew all of this and I asked him one day if she had moved back here and he said he didnt know. I told him I knew she was back and asked him was she working with him again and he said yes , but not in the same building. Okay so he had just Lied and told me that he didnt even know where she was living. I asked him if he had talked to her at all in the last 6 months and he said NO Gut feeling I did not believe him! So the next day I told him that I had requested copies of all of his cell phone records for the last few months that he better tell me the truth because if I found out by reading it off of a piece of paper it was going to be alot worse. So after just Lieing to me and telling me that he had no contact with her he fessed up! We are together all the time and he comes home every night. I dont think of him as this type of person to lie to me. When we were just dating and not that serious i forgave him. But Now to think you know someone and trust them and that YOU are there one and only and then to find out that they have lied to u for the past 8 months about something so stupid I just cant let it go. I feel like hes not the person I thought he was and I also wander what else I dont know about and what all he could have lied about. I dont know what to do. I am 29 and have no children together. How do you regain someones trust after they lied to you several times over and over again about something so stupid.. I would appreciate any opinions or advice!


Noel's response

My advice is that you see a psychologist for some help in learning what it is about yourself that made you hook up with a man who is obviously a liar - something you knew about him early on, and you married him anyway.

You might then decide whether you want to stay married to him, when it doesn't seem you can trust him.

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