Living apart while he is sorting it out

by Maria
(Michigan)

My husband says he needs his "space". He decided to buy a rental property down the street - a two-flat. I suggested he move his stuff into the unrented flat and make it the ultimate man cave - a place he could hang out, have alone time, play his guitar, whatever he wanted. Now I am regretting opening my big mouth. I am just not that enlightened to let him go - I now fear that he will permanently move into this place. He seemed very, very happy at my suggestion. What do you think? Big mistake or creative way to give each other space?


Noel's response

I lean toward the 'creative way to give each other space' option. You could have refused to give him his 'space', which would probably have led to blowups and resentment.
There are times when both men and women (especially around andropause and menopause) need time alone. I know a number of couples who have separated during this time, and then got back together a year or two later. If they could have come up with your kind of creative solution, it may well have been much easier for them.

Comments for Living apart while he is sorting it out

Click here to add your own comments

Sep 21, 2012
My wife is doing the same thing
by: Anonymous

My wife moved out of our house a week ago. We went through a traumatic experience surrounding infertility and the loss of a pregnancy. After a long time of frustration, sadness, and a major blow up of mine, she rented an apartment and left. She believes the separation is temporary while she heals. For now, I'm trying to stay patient and hopeful that this will make things better. It's not easy for me though. I struggle every minute with thoughts of filing divorce, questions about her honesty with me, etc. Not a fun time in life. Stay strong, live life for yourself.

Click here to add your own comments

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to Ask Noel.