Losing My Wife after 15 years

After working hard, becoming successful, my wife came to me and said I have been telling her what to do and directing her life. She said she has no life of her own. She said she loves me but is not in love with me anymore. She needs space!


I have lived my life by the book. I thought I had a great marriage. We argued every now and then. Sex was great. Kids are happy.

About a year ago she met a few girls and they wanted to go dancing at an over 40 night club. I love and trust my wife. I had no problem with it. I went a few times to check it out. Men would ask my wife to dance and she refused. Now she is texting them, talking with them about there problems and going out every chance she gets.
She ask me if she could take off her ring because it just doesn't feel right. It is a symbol of our happiness in our marriage. "It broke my heart".

She now wants to move myself our kids and her out of our house into an apartment. She is talking about our life in the future. She is telling me that she is going back to work and what WE are going to do together in the future. We hug, kiss, but no sex.

At the same time says she doesn't know where she and I will go or she will love me again. I tell her I love her, I bring her flowers, send her cards, give her compliments, her reply (alright)
Today she said she is taking off for 2 weeks by herself to Florida. She is going by herself. She told me she is go to be like she was before we met.

My question: What should I do? I can't lose my wife she is my world, she is everything to me.

Noel's response

You don't mention your wife's age, but it is possible, assuming she is in her mid-forties, that she is in a midlife transition herself, and needs some 'space' in order to go through the transition.

You might also look at whether you have, as she says, always directed her life, as there may be some truth to it. Her comments, plus your statement that you have 'always lived your life by the book' suggest to me that you live in a very structured and organized way, and you might enjoy your life more if you learned to let loose a little more. Some counseling, or The New Warrior Adventure Training

I also suggest that you figure out what boundaries you need in your relationship with your wife, and let her know what you will and will not put up with.

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