Making connection to reconnect

by Rcl
(Arizona)

I asked the above question and wanted to add that he does not think this is midlife crisis since he already had one 9 years ago. I had told him I didn't think there was a limit to this process. He won't read anything as he says he is a doctor and he knows, etc. just says he needs to find his path and feeling "choked" at home. Still kisses me hello and goodbye (on the lips)whenever he sees me. I have suggested he talk to someone (counselor, psyche, religious person, anyone and says he is thinking about it. He looks very unhappy and almost pained. Sometimes he pretends to be ok but when he and I talk alone he tells me he can only handle one day at a time. Do you think if I suggested this event in October or the book he would be offended, angry or maybe listen. Both parents and siblings take anti depressants and when I pointed this out to him and that he had same DNA he became very very angry. Said he was not crazy. I re plied, no not crazy just unhappy. What do you think? Thanks

Comments for Making connection to reconnect

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Jun 22, 2015
Not understand
by: Anonyrmous

You may not understand. This is the second time he has left. First time for 8 months. Been out for 4 months and not home yet. So hard!

Jun 19, 2015
Making connection to reconnect
by: NWF

Hello RCL, The MLC tunnel takes a very long time to get thru. He may be near the end of that process and that is why you are seeing the anger and confusion again. The overt depression is more noticeable during this time as well. There are many good ARTICLES on this process at the Hero's Spouse website.

I would buy the book and read it yourself. He may see you reading it and pick it up on his own and possibly the two of you can then discuss it together. It may be a conversation opener for you. I would not tell him what he needs to do or that this is what you think is happening. He wants to hide what is happening and your input will not help him. He has to do it on his own.

He did not leave you for very long and that is a good sign. He will make it thru the tunnel and it seems that your marriage is intact. That is good news for you both!

Hugs for you!

Jun 18, 2015
I can't predict his reaction
by: Noel

I don't know whether he will be angry if you suggest the October event or the book. Perhaps is you mention the book (maybe even offer to get it for him?), he would be willing to read it.

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