male mid life and walking out on thirty year marriage

by jayjay
(new zealand)

30 years marriage teen sweethearts 4 years prior to that ups and downs in marriage nothing ever runs smooth very demanding mother in law but i married the only son and the youngest in his family three children all adults now he started to become distant but i thought it was because all the kids had finally left home we stopped talking he pushed me out of the bed room and no there was no affair he has lost interest in his work home life every thing. is it mid life crisis he says he still loves me but is not in love with me and he needs to find himself and be the person he was never able to be he has suddenly got all the support money etc needed to start his new life from his parents and they are so happy he has kicked me out any answers please.


Noel's response

It sounds as though he is going through a midlife transition. I assume he is in his 50s. If so, he is the right age for the behaviour you describe: losing interest in things he used to enjoy, wanting to find himself and so forth.

My suggestion is that you look at the kind of life you want for yourself, with or without him, and start working toward it, as you are also in a transition into the 'third age', although you may not be in as much turmoil as your husband.

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