Mid life crisis and alcohol and partying
(New Jersey )
My 13 year Husband.(we are been together 20 years, 8 as my boyfriend) Has always liked drinking and partying . We have two kids 9 and 5, the old one with developmental issues. Lately he wants his life to change, he is practicing more golf which is not bad, and he is drinking and looking for partying much more. My problem is he is been "nice" and include us in his plans, but what he doesn't realize is alcohol has a stronger effect in him than before and he becomes drunk and aggressive very quickly. If I tell him or ask him to go home and me, I am a horrible wife, who doesn't let him do anything and just want to destroy his happiness.
I can not even talk to him about his drinking when he is sober, he refuse to compromise or to even talk, and as a result he is turning very resentful at me.
My question is: do I stop trying? Should I "encourage" his partying and seem like I am fine with it, hoping he will outgrow it and our relationship is not going to be more compromised, or how do I act?
He clearly has strong feelings about this and is not willing to do anything he doesn't want