Mid Life Crisis - Or Just Done With Me
My husband and I have been married 29 years. Christmas of 2012 his mom passed, six months later he had a mini stroke. During this he just started a new career and mine ended the end of this year. We have a 15 yr old daughter still at home. His father passed 8 years ago. Needless to say the last 2 years have been stressful and after my career ended I started feeling sorry for myself and things just got worse. We had an argument at Valentines Day about him giving his female boss flowers and he got mad and left. Said he loved me but wasn't in love and was done. Divorce is the only option. He came home on Sundays to see our daughter and was all over me each time, I asked for counseling and he agreed but then told therapist he only wanted to make the divorce easier for me. When he first left he was concerned if I went out, wanting to know who I was with, etc. Wore his wedding ring, kissed me in front of daughter but after 2 sessions with therapist one together and then the one on his own, he took off ring, won't come near me, said he doesn't care if I date or what I do. He also barely talks to our older kids. (Also preceding this he was having some issues in the bedroom). Also, when he first left he said he just felt cold inside and was done.
My heart is breaking for him and us. If this is a mlc I don't want to abandon him, but if not, and he really dislikes me this much then I guess there is nothing left.
Does this sound like a mlc?Noel's response
It sounds like it could be a MLC, but with other complications, such as grief from his mother dying, and perhaps some unresolved issues in your marriage. My suggestion is that you move on with your life as though divorce is going to happen (i.e. don't put your life on hold), and if he wants to get back together at some future date you can decide whether you are willing to do that.