Mid life? Lost

by Heather
(Bristol tn)

Me and my husband have been married 16 years and we have 2 children, 15 daughter, 11yr old son, and I have 23yr old son previous, he has raised..I found out last year I am very sick and only have few yrs left. 1 am 38 yr old woman. My husband and oldest son started a company 6 mnths ago and my husband walked out on us few weeks ago. He has been very mean, he says never loved me, even tho he has always came back before, he has never indicated divorce now it's happening, he has been swung an ex girlfriend recently, tried to get my oldest to meet her at work, yet he lies to me and the younger kids and says he ain't cheating.. Help.. She is lawyer, has a kid by a 60 yr old man, and is friends with his old friends..is it a mid life crisis? No one that we know can believe he has done this, out of blue...completely out of character, should I have any hope,of us getting back together or just give up...? I love him very much and when we met we got married less than a month later and 16 years later, this.. it has been Rocky more the first 5 years, it has been fairly good the last 10 years, at times been rough but we have always pulled thru, now he doesn't want to try I can hear other people speaking through him, when he opens his mouth, it's not him..what do I do? And I feel so lost and my illness isn't helping ,, he says it's not because of me sick, but I don't know, I know he couldn't handle,it the 4 months I was in hospital and that was barely a year ago..he's left the kids as well. And my youngest is happy to see or hear from dad. He's trying to take my disability that I just got 2 months ago if I fight him in the divorce, I really need advice. Thanks, Heather

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May 10, 2016

by: Noel

Hi Heather,

It may be a midlife crisis, or it could be your illness, or a combination of both. Either way I recommend you protect yourself:
1. I doubt your husband can take your disability payments from you, but to be sure, talk to a lawyer about it
2. Talk to a lawyer about protecting your share of the assets in a divorce.There are also many helpful sites for protecting yourself during a divorce. if you google "woman protect yourself in divorce" you will find plenty of help.
3. He may in the end want to come back, but be prepared for him not to. Even if you get divorced and you both want to get together again, you can always get married again. I know a few couples who have done that.

Other readers may have more advice.
All the best,
Noel

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