Midlife crisis he wants to come back, I don't know?

by Sonja
(Gila, NM, US)

Married 25 years, he has had a girl friend since the divorce, (7 months divorced) He wanted to come home about 2 1/2 months after the divorce. I thought we needed time to figure things out.. then he had the girl friend. He got really mad at me.

Now he is wanting to come home again. Friends call me worried about him. I love him lots, but the divorce almost seemed like a relief.. don't mean to sound mean, but he was hateful, unhappy, hurting, in debt, and just weird.

The sex was great and often, I miss that too. He was the one who wanted the divorce and freedom,. What do I do? Sonja

Noel's response

My only suggestion is that if you do want to explore the idea of taking him back, the two of you go to marriage counseling to talk about the hurt of the past, and what your marriage will have to look like in the future for you to be willing to have him back in your life.