Midlife crisis marriage falling apart
My husband of 17 yrs is going through what I believe is a mid life crisis. 15 mths ago he told me he loved me but wasn't in love with me. I cried and pleaded. Fast forward, he's had an affair on and off with same lady and he has seen other women as well. He moved out 4 months ago because we both agreed that's what had to happen. He's been more available in the last 2-3 weeks telling me he wants to work on our marriage. Then just yesterday he backs off again and says he's not ready to give up his freedom just yet. I told him if he wants a divorce but he says he's not sure he wants that either. He doesn't want to commit because he thinks in a Few weeks or months he might want to go out and he might fail. He doesn't know if he wants a divorce. He just knows hes on a self destruction path and he doesn't know if he wants to get out of it.
Is this a mid life crisis?? I still want to save my marriage, is there anything I can do??? Noel's response
It does sound like a midlife crisis. I don't know whether you are having sex with him when you are together, but if you are, I suggest you stop until he can decide what he wants to do. The way it sounds, he has the freedom to come and go as he pleases, so there is no particular motivation to commit to anything.
You might also want to look at your own life goals, with or without him, and move forward with them.
If he is open to suggestion from you, you might also recommend he see his doctor for a thorough medical to rule out any serious illness. His doctor might also prescribe an anti-depressant, which may help.