Midlife Crisis Men Problems

by Gaye
(Houston)

Is there something that triggers this midlife crisis or midlife transition into starting? Is it some tradegy that brings this on in men? Why do these men seem like different people before they went into the crisis? I hear this from a lot of other women. How does a wife, or girlfriend communicate with their love one in this crisis mode? Any suggestions that could help bring them back to the relationship they abruptly abandoned to go off with a younger, squeakier toys? What can they say to help their men get through this crisis or transition time?


Should the women they leave behind take all this personally? Is it any of their fault?

Thanks,
Gaye

Noel's response

A midlife transition is a normal event that happens in all men's and women's lives. For some men, it becomes a crisis.

Daniel Levinson, in his book 'The Seasons of a Man's Life', says man (and I assume women) go through a transition about every ten years, and the age 40 transition is usually more impactful than the others. The age fifty transition can also be stressful.

A crisis (as opposed to a simple transition) can be caused when man does not make the previous transition well, so the next one can be more difficult. The age fifty transition can be complicated by a drop in testosterone, which is a normal event as we begin to enter the 'third age'.

A woman in relationship with a man in a crisis should definitely not take it personally, but may benefit from examining what she wants in her life, with or without the current partner: what kind of relationship does she want? what kind of behaviour will she not put up with.

You can find some advice for women in the 'for women' section of my site.

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