Midlife Men who leave their wives of 28 years

by Bernadette
(United states)

Question

Once a man leaves his devoted wife of 28 years is there any chance he will return after he realizes he's not looking for someone, but what he's accomplished?

Noel's Answer

I know of a number of couples who have split up during midlife transitions, and got back together later. Sometimes the man leaves, sometimes the woman leaves.

If they do get back together, it is usually because both of them have changed significantly, so they can go forward in a 'new relationship'. It is impossible for them to carry on with the relationship as it was before the split, even if the person who left (in your case the man) realizes he is not looking for someone.

My suggestion is you look at your own life, and think about what kind of relationship you want with your husband, in the event he does come back.

You may find some personal coaching, or counseling useful.

Noel

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Mar 19, 2015
Rollercoaster ride
by: Anonymous

In my case, I was married to my husband for 29 years, went through a lot with our children and jobs, we really went through it together. I never held own my husband, never jealous, he was a free kind of a person. I saw changes but ignored them with several years.

My husband was having affairs on the cell phone. I found out of two woman he was having affairs, he of course denied everything. I tried to patch up the situation to make it work, but he decided that he was not going to work it out.

He is living at home now, but he is organizing himself to leave. My life and my grown children's life is upside down at this time. I am planning to get a divorce as soon as I know what he wants to do. He does not speak to me or know that I exist. I am going through emotional feelings and is destroying my health, myself esteem and the person that I once was before this traumatic experience has happened.

I understand what he is going through, but I am not going to stand seeing going out with woman almost every night from my home. I just want to vanish right now and go somewhere to start a new life for myself but I can't I have responsibilities and attachments that I can't let go now.

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