Midlife Men who leave their wives of 28 years

by Bernadette
(United states)

Question


Once a man leaves his devoted wife of 28 years is there any chance he will return after he realizes he's not looking for someone, but what he's accomplished?

Noel's Answer

I know of a number of couples who have split up during midlife transitions, and got back together later. Sometimes the man leaves, sometimes the woman leaves.

If they do get back together, it is usually because both of them have changed significantly, so they can go forward in a 'new relationship'. It is impossible for them to carry on with the relationship as it was before the split, even if the person who left (in your case the man) realizes he is not looking for someone.

My suggestion is you look at your own life, and think about what kind of relationship you want with your husband, in the event he does come back.

You may find some personal coaching, or counseling useful.

Noel

Comments for Midlife Men who leave their wives of 28 years

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May 02, 2017
37 & starting over
by: Sheri johnson

Married 37 years.. He found soneone at my grandsons ball league.
He alienated me from my family. Moved out and refused any support. Im homeless due to no utilities. Never ever thought it could be so bad. He literally hates me and says he simply does not care what happenes to me. I dont know this person at all.

Jan 03, 2017
Mid-life Crisis Crisis
by: Anonymous

My husband of 26 years decided that he never loved me, has no respect for me, doesn't like to be around me, is a better person when he's not around me, works 60 hours a week, hangs out at bars, is an alcoholic and so on and so on. I finally kicked him out of the house. I have three grown children and two live at home. I take care of all the expenses, household upkeep and animals. My husband is a very successful businessman and a CFO with a trust company. He wanted me to be a "corporate" wife, shut up and let him do as he pleased. When he continued to text younger women from his work and after seeing him blatantly flirt with younger women. I confronted him. Asked him to stop. But to no avail. He blamed me for our marital woes. We went thru 10 months of hell when I asked him to go. I miss him. He's tried to come home three times. I told him no. He's been gone for 8 months. I never regretted that decision. I have no idea what the future holds.

May 02, 2015
I'd feel like a doormat
by: Anonymous

Ladies, I'm in the midst of this hell and humiliation after 23 years of going "above and beyond" as a faithful, hardworking wife and mother.

But you know what? When sorry lame ass husbands do to us what we would never do to them, it CAN be a gift from God.

Hard as it is, I was thrown through a door that I would have NEVER opened myself. Ten or twenty years from now, I won't be nursing that ingrate through health problems.

When a man is pathetic enough to leave an attractive, faithful wife after they've built a life together, it proves he's beneath her and she's lucky to get rid of him!

Mar 19, 2015
Rollercoaster ride
by: Anonymous

In my case, I was married to my husband for 29 years, went through a lot with our children and jobs, we really went through it together. I never held own my husband, never jealous, he was a free kind of a person. I saw changes but ignored them with several years.

My husband was having affairs on the cell phone. I found out of two woman he was having affairs, he of course denied everything. I tried to patch up the situation to make it work, but he decided that he was not going to work it out.

He is living at home now, but he is organizing himself to leave. My life and my grown children's life is upside down at this time. I am planning to get a divorce as soon as I know what he wants to do. He does not speak to me or know that I exist. I am going through emotional feelings and is destroying my health, myself esteem and the person that I once was before this traumatic experience has happened.

I understand what he is going through, but I am not going to stand seeing going out with woman almost every night from my home. I just want to vanish right now and go somewhere to start a new life for myself but I can't I have responsibilities and attachments that I can't let go now.

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