Mid-life or instanity

by Kim Livingsworth
(Huntsville, Al)

I'm 43 and my husband is 44 we have been married for 23 yrs. for the last 3 yrs we have spent weekdays living in two different cities, due to work. No neither one of us is having an affair. Well in May of this year my father in law passed and my husband seemed to be understandably depressed. our family dr put him on zoloft which made him do nothing but sleep, be confused and resentful. He started having weight gain, was angry all the time up to the point he got fired from a long time job in Aug, due to a fight with a total stranger at a gas station, bad company image. since that time he is home full time and is still bitter and angry, began spending hours on facebook and internet porn, then he stopped his zoloft and any type of suggestions or if I disagree with him then it turns into a scary "the world is out to get him" today was the 2nd crying episode he has done.

I am not innocent in all this, I know I was angry because seemed like I was doing all the housework, finances and all he did was sleep 16 hours a day and play on the internet. I would lash out for feeling alone, neglected and unloved. Started feeling that porn watching was required for him to then want to have sex with me. He never leaves the house. I still do not understand how someone can be interested in looking at porn but not wanting sex.
i feel like im going insane, I love him but its to the point i cant say anything or start a conversation because i don't know how he will respond, it could be anger, he could start crying, he could crawl back in bed, I just don't know what to do anymore.

Noel's response

It sounds as though he is in a serious depression. I think another visit to his doctor would be helpful, and perhaps get a prescription to try a different anti-depressant, which might be more effective, and have less effect of making him sleepy.

He would probably also benefit from some grief counseling, and/or having a number of session with a psychologist who does cognitive therapy.

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