Mid-life triggers

by Dennis
(Brooklyn, NY US)

The Question

Should I change jobs if a work place that has a lot of young women, causes me to feel depressed? Or should I try to work through it?

I'm 56 yrs. and I've been married for 25 yrs. and I haven't had sex with my wife in over 5 yrs.
I believe that a change of venue will help me begin working with my Mid-Life transition.
Am I right?

Noel's response

I don't think a change of workplace will solve your problem. There are young women wherever you go. Your feeling depressed when around them is a symptom of some other aspect of your life.

You may have your 'feminine aspect' (what Carl Jung called your anima), meaning your internal feminine may be being activated, as often happens in our 50s, and we sometimes look outward for what can only be found inside.

You mention that you and your wife have not had sex for five years, but you do not mention whether you want to have sex, or whose idea it is not to have sex. You also do not mention whether you have a loving relationship with your wife, or whether you are more like room mates.

I suspect you would benefit more from marriage counseling than from a change of jobs.

If you have a satisfying marriage, and are both happy with not having sex, just 'keep on keeping on' and you will get through this transition.