MLC stages

My husband and I are both 40. We have a 12 yr old daughter. He dropped the bomb on 08/31/2010 and he moved out 7/31/2011.

Since about 2 months ago he has been telling me he wants to see and try to work things out but at the same time wants to keep his freedom right now. He does not want a divorce but won't go to marriage counseling.

H tells me there is something left and he wants to feel things out and see what happens. He comes around. We do things together. We have fun. Then he starts freaking out wanting to run away again. He disconnected for about 1 week and then came back around again with the same story. Now, 2 weeks later, he's freaking out again saying he wants to get away. I tell him let's plan a trip. He says no offense but I want it to be me and D only. He needs to get away from everyone.

This is so frustrating?? What stage do you think he is in. What can I do to help him. I'm good. I take care of myself. I am obviously in pain, but I will be OK if we get divorced. I am at a good place emotionally. But I do want to save my marriage.

Noel's response

My guess, from what you describe, is that he is through the 'worst' of it, but still has a way to go.

If you are willing to carry on with the current situation, it may in time save your marriage.

It is good to hear that you are personally in a good space. Keep living your life as normally as you can given the circumstance.

The book Crossing the Soul's River by William O. Roberts may help in understanding your husband's situation.
Good luck!