Mood changes

by Chloe
(London)

My husband of 20 years has a binge drinking problem. Since July he has changed into a man I don't know. He wants to end our marriage, but says he's probably making the biggest mistake of his life. He got really aggressive a few weeks ago and the police told me to change the locks. He said he doesn't hate me, but his behaviour doesn't show that.

When he announced the separation he said he didn't want anyone to know. He wanted to have some fun, drink and go fishing. He hasn't been fishing (his passion) for 9 weeks, but he's been on many benders which have taken him days to get over.
He has been verbally abusive to me when drinking, and before that, was abusive to his mum for years. I asked him 2 days ago if he was happy and he said no. An answer he's given me every week for 9 weeks. He's not sleeping, he's only mixing with drinking friends, and he seems to have lost all emotion. I'm so confused and need some help to cope with him while our home is sold.
Chloe

Comments for Mood changes

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Dec 06, 2016
Affair
by: Chloe

Hi Noel.
On Sunday I was shown photographic evidence that my husband is having a very intimate relationship with a woman who I thought was a friend.
Of course I am devastated as he had denied it for 3 months. I sent him copies of the photos and incredibly he is still denying it. I cannot comprehend his recent behaviour.

From Noel:
It sounds as though he wants to have his cake and eat it too.
Are you convinced the photos are real, and not Photoshopped by someone?

Nov 29, 2016
Alcoholic
by: Chloe

Hi, I know that my husband is an alcoholic. We've been together for over 20 years and it's been a problem a lot. He has dry times, usually after I have threatened to end the marriage. He's a wonderful man when sober, but if he craves a drink, or has drink he changes into someone I am afraid of, and do not like. He was dry for 4 years and one night he disappeared for 2-3 hours. I found him unconscious in our bath, fully clothed. He took two days to recover. He went to our doctor, said he didn't want to throw away 20 years with me and stopped for 6 weeks. On Wednesday he said he loved me, on Thursday he said he didn't love me and wanted to separate and drank 3 litres of lager that night. He hasn't stopped for 10 weeks.

Nov 29, 2016

by: Noel

I am not sure what to suggest, although if he is drinking a lot the chances are he is an alcoholic. My suggestion is you go to a few Alanon meetings to see whether what you learn there can help you cope.

You mentioned your home is being sold. Is it because you are separated? If so, is it critical that it be sold now? Is it possible you and your husband will get back together, and if so will you wish you had not sold your house?

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