my 40 year old husband has lost his sex drive

by Jessi
(Indiana)

I am 38 years old and married 6 years. I am very attractive and height (5'8") weight proportioned (size 6). After going thru a health battle with lupus, which had me almost dead, literally, our house burned down. Now, our house is rebuilt and things with my health are vastly improved, though not perfect. My husband turned 40 this year and he has not taken it well. He has been avoiding sex with excuses. I know, based on his schedule/phone that he is not seeing someone else. He recently admitted that although he states he is deeply in love and thinks I am beautiful, he has no interest in sex at all. Recent attempts have failed before they even started basically and I am FRUSTRATED. Of course I feel unwanted and rejected. I do not believe in affairs and do not want to get a divorce if I don't have to. What is going on with my husband? 40 isn't that old????


Noel's response

There could be many causes for the situation - anything from low testosterone to depression. I suggest you go to marriage counseling if your husband is willing. I also recommend that he have a thorough medical, as the loss of sex drive can indicate other health problems, such as heart disease.

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Mar 31, 2015
Lost sex drive
by: Anonymous

I've been married 47 years and my husband lost his sex drive the day after we were married. We never had sex before we were married, he never even touched me in a sexual way before marriage.
We had sex once and some thing happened and I don't know what it was. He hated sex, intimacy, told me sex was disgusting, vile, not worth the trouble, got nothing out of it. He never wanted it again and proceeded to move to the basement, and has lived there all these years. We haven't done any thing together we haven't even talked for decades. He's not gay or have a gal on the side, I've had him followed at least 1/2 dozen times. Now I should have left but its way to late, I'm near 70 and just don't car any more.

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