My brother,s midlife crisis

How do I get through to my well educated, intelligent brother that he is making a terrible mistake by throwing away 24 years of marriage. He has everything most people want. Very successful career, supportive wife and two lovely daughters. How can I make him understand that the grass is not greener with a 30 year old gold digger and he could lose the love and respect of his two daughters.


He is 50 years old and has been married to Rita for 24 years.His older daughter is going to Cambridge uni later this year so this problem not only affects his life it also affects his children. His wife is also a high earner and both have equally contributed to their success. His wife is distraught as she thinks he is mentally ill. I want to help but do not know what to do.

Stephen is so besotted by this 30 year old he sees nothing else. He says as his sister I should meet the new woman. I am lost, please help. We live in Northern Ireland but my brother, at present works in Scotland Monday to Friday, making it easy to carry on this illicit affair.

He says he is in love and suddenly has not been happy for years. He always was a person of the highest integrity. Can we get him back? He is prepared to lose everything for this new relationship. He knows this new woman for approx 5 months, but is prepared to end his marriage right now.
Please advis urgently. Many thanks

Noel's response

I am not sure what to advise re: getting him to stay with his wife. He is obviously in a 'trance' (like being in heat) with this woman, and it no doubt will pass. It would likely be a mistake for him to divorce his wife and marry this woman, but I don't know how you could stop it.

My advice to your sister-in-law would be to take whatever preventive legal action she has to now in order to protect herself financially in the event he does want a divorce.

Comments for My brother,s midlife crisis

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Jul 13, 2011
My brother,s midlife crisis
by: Anonymous

Hi Noel, thank you for your reply. I believe my brother thinks he is in a good position, in that his wife would take him back immediately.
Do you think it might jolt him back to reality if she makes it clear to him that she is not always going to be there for him.
Maybe, if he realizes he could lose the person who has been by his side for 27 years, it might jolt him back to reality?
Kind regards Linda

Noel's response

It might, if she were serious about it, and he understood that.

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