My dad loves his ex?

by Anon
(Australia)

Before my dad met my mother, he had a girlfriend. The relationship lasted 3 years.


While he was dating this woman, he met her brother and became best friends. My dad met and married my mum, and his ex girlfriend got married as well.

My dad's best friend ended up marrying my mum's sister. So we still see his ex girlfriend a few times a year, at some family events. She's on the other side of the family, eg. my cousin's are cousin's with her children, I am not related to them at all.

My dad still remembers her birthday and sometimes I feel like he loves her.

Dad confided in me that when they were together she was pregnant. He even told me he looked at her eldest child and thought to himself "she could have been mine". Even though if his ex had birthed the baby, it would have been an entirely different person (and obviously they broke up years before this child was born)

So does my dad still love her? Is he nostalgic? Is he just wondering what might have been? I know he's been unhappy with my mum for a long time, so I wonder if he's just remembering the good times with this ex.

Noel's response

I suspect he is just wondering what might have been. Pondering and 'going over' the past is common at midlife.

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