My husband drinks a lot now. What can I do?

by Patty Bartlett
(Corning, NY)

The Question

My husband started hanging around with a younger (male) friend, and drinking in excess last year, and now he drinks at least 5/7 days a week and sometimes every day. When I confront him he says he does not have a problem, but I know he does and he is very irritable and snapping at me and the children.

This is a 2nd marriage for both of us. We got married November 17, 2001, and share a son together and then I have an 18-year-old (not living at home) and a 13-year-old daughter and he has an 11-year-old daughter who does not live with us.

It seems all we ever do is argue and I try not to say anything to him at all, as it always ends-up being a confrontational issue and I am always to blame and I literally can say nothing to him.

I am not perfect by any means and at times I can be a little nagging, but he knew this before he married me and he did not drink like this at all.

I am truly desperate and do not want to have another failed marriage, but I am so unhappy and cannot live like this at all.

Noel's response

It sounds as though your husband may well have a drinking problem. I suggest you see an addictions counsellor, who can guide you in the appropriate way to deal with this situation. Perhaps he/she will help you do an 'intervention', which may help your husband see that his actions have a negative effect on others.