my husband has a crush on a younger woman

by Jen
(Indiana)

My husband and I have been married for 15 years and have 3 kids. He recently lost his job and had a hard time finding another one. He is now working again, but the training for his new job is 2 1/2 hours away 5 days a week. I had suspicions that something was going on due to his irritability and distance from his children.


My husband is 39 and I found out he has a major crush on a 25 year old woman. I found that he told her his marriage is coming to an end and that the two of them have much in common and that he is very attracted to her.

I am heartbroken and he thinks that there is nothing wrong with the way he feels about her. He has also confided in other women that his marriage is coming to an end. I don't know what to do?


Noel's response

When a person has experienced a lot of stress (e.g. losing his job, and then training for a new one), the attraction to a 'no strings attached' relationship, such as with this other woman, can be very strong.

How long will the training go on? If you are able to have an authentic conversation with him, you might try just talking about the situation and asking for some honest answers from him re: what he is experiencing, what he plans to do. If he says he plans to leave, take immediate legal action to protect yourself financially.

If he is willing to go to marriage counseling with you, it might help him see the reality of his situation, and what he will be giving up if he does leave.

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