My husband left after 20 years of marriage!
I am so confused! Ten months ago my husband announced he no longer loved me and wanted a divorce, he had been distant with me for approx 3 weeks prior to the announcement. To cut a long story short, he moved after much crying, his tears not mine, I was to bewildered to even think straight let alone cry! He came clean 3 months later, told me everything, he had come across a woman he went to school with 33yrs ago, (on a social networking site) they had exchanged emails for two weeks prior to him leaving, met for a coffee, hit it off and realized he no longer loved me, left and moved in with her within a couple of days, she had been on her own for 8 years. After less than week he told me they fell madly in love and are meant to be together blah blah blah! He continues to pay the mortgage on our home, maintenance for our son, although I don't know for how much longer as he has been spending money like water, he has run up huge debts entertaining this woman, two holidays, days out, nights out, new clothes for himself etc, etc. He stopped visiting his son, apparently he has no time, too busy. His behaviour to me is very odd, Iam beginning to wonder if this is a mid life crisis he's going through, everything he's doing is so out of character, its almost as if he is reliving his youth with this woman and trying to forget about the responsibilities of being a
husband and a father. The last time we saw him was one month ago, he looked so thin and gaunt, quite, unhappy I guess. I have tried to talk to him, he just gets angry with me, blames me for everything, its all my fault. This woman I feel is manipulating him now, as she is well aware he has no where else to go, I really feel she is making demands on him to keep him away from his children and myself, it sounds pathetic but I think he's feeling pretty low at the moment, the money has run out, the parties over basically its now the reality of what he has done, I don't know maybe the novelty has worn off. I have asked him if he wants to divorce now, his reply was no, there's no rush. I have decided to back away and leave him to it, in the hope I guess he will come to his senses sometime sooner rather than later! My question is...does this sound like a mid life crisis or have I got it completely wrong and he's just gone mad or he is or was infatuated with this woman!
It sounds like typical midlife crisis behaviour. I suggest you take whatever steps you need to in order secure any assets you have (e.g. house, joint savings) so he can't spend that too.
He may or may not 'snap out of it' when the 'honeymoon' period of this relationship is over.
In the meantime, get on with your life assuming you will be without him.