My husband of 15 years wants to leave me for a woman half way around the world

by Chris
(Saskatoon)

My husband met someone on a business trip 2 years ago, they only spent one day together. They have continued their relationship online and he flew her to come visit him 6 months ago. Only for one week. He has finally broke down and told me that he is in love with her and she is his soulmate.


He has left me, and our two kids ages 11 and 7. He would like to go and spend a month with her to see if it is real, but would like me to wait. He doesn't want a divorce, but he is convinced she is the one. He has been "retired" for the last year and is obsessed with growing old. He is only 38.
Please help!

Noel's response

It sounds as though he needs a therapist rather than a new soulmate. His fear of growing old has nothing to do with his chronological age, but rather some internal message about getting old. It is possible the affair (I am guessing she is younger?) is to help him 'ward off aging'. It won't work.

If you are willing to wait, he might discover he has made a blunder and want to come home. However a month is not very long to make that discovery, as the relationship can be in the 'honeymoon stage' for longer than that.

Whatever you decide, I suggest you get on with your life, with or without him, and if he is determined to go, let him know you will not be sitting around waiting, but will be living your life and perhaps be open to other relationships while he is gone.

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