MY husband of 35 years has MLC
by Hurt Wife
We have been married 35 years, and he has always been hard to live with..he has temper tantrums, never there for me when I was sick, basically didn't want to be bothered with kids ect. I did everything ! Worked a full time job, took care of kids, house & yard! Well out of the blue, 3 years ago, he looked up his old girlfriend, he said he just wanted to see how she was and made a date for her and her husband to meet us for dinner...and thats where it began. they have talked every day, 2 or 3 times a day ever since..She pretends she is great friends with me, but she does not fool me, she loves all this attention he is giving her..he is so kind and caring to her and it hurts because he has never been this way with me. He says they are only friends, but I have proof otherwise. But in his mind, if I am the cause of this ending, I will be doomed to live with his rage. I am 55, I do not want to start over. So now he is really nice and caring to me, covering his tracks I guess. All I want is for him to see what she is, but I can not be the one to do it.
I am not sure I understand what the 'ending' is you refer to. Do you mean his relationship with the old girlfriend is ending and that he might blame you for that happening?
You cannot control what he thinks, but you can control what you think and what you do. It sounds as though you have have had a unsatisfactory marriage for a long time, and that you are prepared to live the rest of your life in this painful relationship rather than be on your own, or look for a new relationship.
Perhaps a few sessions with a psychotherapist would be useful in helping you figure out what you want to do with your life, rather than have all your energy focused on your husband's wishes.