My husband ssays I am perfect now, but still leaves....

by Nancy
(NH)

My husband of 16 years, suddenly asked for a divorce. He states that he can not handle how I have treated him in the past. I asked for 3 months to reevaluate myself. I have had life coaching, read many books on love and respect, and have changed my life completely. Our sex life became wild and crazy, we never argues for the 3 months, he started laughing all the time, we made plans for the future for our home and children, and then , on the end of the 3rd month, our anniversary..he says "happy anniversary honey" and I was so excited, he said, what would you like to do today....well I had so much planned, but first told him I was excited that we saved our marriage, but then he says, what are you talking about, I still want a divorce! I feel like I have been played for the last 3 months. He says he loves what he sees in me now, I am great, and it makes him angry that some man is going to get the best of me now! I am confused, why can't we build on what we have just made? He states he cant let go of the past and how disrespectful I was to him for years, but does not take any part in the fact that I was hurtful to him, because he was not giving me any love in return. He knows that I have changed and have reinvented myself, but he wont let go of the past...we are now separated, he is angry that I asked him to move out, we have 2 children 9 and 12. He thought he could just stay in the house until the divorce, what is he thinking? I love him dearly and have told him I will wait for him...this does have MLC written all over it. How long though?


Noel's response

It is hard to say how long before he comes back, if ever. It sounds as though he needs some counseling to help him let go of the past (I suspect not just his past with you, but with anyone he feels has been 'disrespectful' to him).

If/when he wants to come back, you may find that you have moved on, and found someone who really enjoys the 'new you'.

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