My husband walked out after 21yrs of marriage AND renewing our vows

by Christine
(NC)

Hi,
My husband had an emotional affair with a coworker in 2007-2008. Once I found out, we said we were going to go to counseling and make changes. This happened but we worked at sporadically. The marriage would be up and down.

Our 15yr old daughter died by suicide 4/10. Needless to say, this was a strain but we were growing closer through counseling. I admit I had trust issues because of some of his continued suspicious behaviors. During the last counseling appointment (prior to his walk out) he looked me in the eyes and said he loved me and was in love with me.

I then started making changes to give him "blind trust". A week later, I noticed he was not acting right. I was telling him about my counseling appointment that day. I said that I felt something was wrong. He said he was leaving. He walked out that night and has only been back to fix things around the house so we can sell it.

Bigger issue, I lost my job 4 days before he walked.
I just don't understand. How can a man renew his vows, show affection up to a week before he leaves and then tell me he is not "in love with me" and walk out?
I am in an emotional tailspin. I have to go through 21yrs of memories and the memories of our daughter to sort and pack the house.
Any advice??? Any Comments??? Any chance he will change his mind???

Noel's response

I don't know what to say. Perhaps your marriage counselor will have some insights.