Orgasm

by Humburg
(Nairobi)



The question

Hi, my husband (44 years this year) and I have been married for 8 years. I have 3 concerns.

a) My husband has not been having an orgasm whenever we make love but then he tells me that he was "turned on thinking about me and then he masturbated at the office".

b) I have recently noticed that he talks a lot about sex and how/when we should be making love. It almost sounds that he is covering up for something. Is that normal?

c) Whenever we are making love he does not have an orgasm 90% of the time. Is that normal.

Recently he told me a story of his office gossip that he was sleeping with a colleague! I am now suspecting that my husband my have cheated on me. Am I just paranoid?

Thank you very much, your site was really helpful.

God Bless.

Noel's response

Not being a sex therapist, I am not sure I can answer your questions with any degree of accuracy.

Frequently at midlife, men's libido begins to diminish. For some it is dramatic, to where they need testosterone therapy just to continue with a normal life, but for most, it is just a certain diminishment in level of sexual desire and 'sexual performance'.

For some men this is alarming, and can cause anxiety, which can lead to impotence and other forms of sexual dysfunction. In some cases masturbation may be more satisfying as there is no 'performance anxiety'.

As for your husband not having orgasms, it may have something to do with this, or may be something totally unrelated. Here is a link with information that may be useful to you:
Orgasmic Disorders

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