Relationship

by karin
(myrtle beach, sc)

Comment

We have been happily married for 35 years. Within the last year we have both lost our jobs. He has mentioned that he feels worthless. I have gone back to work. He is still looking with no opportunities.

We argue. He is losing weight, taking care of himself (appearance), and looking at and commenting on younger girls (breasts) etc.

I am tired of arguing and am getting to the point, I can't take it anymore.

Noel's response

I can see that you would get tired of this situation.

It sounds to me as though he is feeling very insecure. He has lost his job, which may have been one of the main ways he identified himself, so he in a sense has also lost his identity.

He may be also worried that he is losing his other identity, which is his desirability as a man. This would make him want to lose weight, fix up his appearance, and notice younger women.

This situation will probably pass in time, but I don't know how much time, and only you know how long you are willing to put up with it.