Returning to Ex Flame who "stalked" him?
My significant other of 12 years just broke off with me. He confessed that a friend of his put him in touch with a woman who has carried a torch for him for 40 years, with whom he had alternately had a relationship, just lived with, treated as "one of the guys", etc. Our relationship has been hard the past year and a half, but instead of talking to me, he talked to his ex-wife and friends about it. He never asked why I was not as loving as before. I had valid reasons, none of which were that I didn't love him. Anyway, this ex-flame (she moved seven times before he got married just to be near him) has been living in Florida. She finally stopped stalking him (her own admission ... stalking) when he married an moved to Ohio, although she did call him from time-to-time. She's never stopped wanting him for the past 40 years. She never married, although she has a grown son in Florida. So he told me two weeks ago that he is in love with her, and they are having a long-distance relationship but it is "serious". I am 57 (have been with him through professional difficulties, a heart attack, etc.). He is now 65. The ex-flame-stalker is about to turn 60. She is in Florida, he is in Ohio. He is devoted to his two grown sons, both of which plan to stay in the same town where he lives. We live about 45 minutes apart.
Could he really be in love with this woman, whom he jokingly calls his stalker? Is this a phase? I am very distressed.Noel's response
I can understand your distress.
I don't know whether he could really be in love with this woman, but if she truly has stalked him in the past, I don't see how it could be a satisfying relationship for either of them.
The real question for you is what you are going to do going forward from here. I recommend you figure out what you want in your life, and in a relationship, with or without him, and start moving toward it.