Rollercoaster of Love

I have posted my situation on some of the boards. In a nutshell, my husband was involved with a coworker. The extent is not clear - was it an EA? MLC? ML transition? Not really sure. But what I am sure about is that the trust is gone and I am not sure what to do about it.

To my knowledge, the OW is no longer a part of his life as he switched jobs. I sometimes can't help but wonder if he misses her. I sometimes find myself trolling social media to look at her pictures and wonder what I did wrong as a wife. I have days when I KNOW this isn't my fault and then there are days where I feel like I have failed.
It is about 10 months from the bomb drop. I have talked with him about parting ways but he seems committed to this relationship. He has said he would do anything for me for the rest of his life to prove how sorry he is and how stupid his actions were. It bothers me because I was always committed to this relationship. I have days where I think I forgive him and then there are the days when I think I deserve better than this.
Some days I just get so tired of riding this rollercoaster.

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Feb 12, 2017
Update
by: Elisa

We are now past the one year bomb drop. It has been a tough year and there are moments when I am happy that it is behind us. The memories of it still creep up on me and I am learning how to deal with that.
He has told me that when he told the skank, I mean OW, that he as leaving jobs, she didn't really seem to care as she has always been all about herself. He said he felt sorry for her mostly which is how he became engaged. This is what manipulative people do. Especially those so insecure with themselves that they need to seek the attention of other men because they cant get what they need from home. Also, at that time she did tell him she wasn't transferring as was planned. The gift he gave her was because she was supposed to transfer but the skank enjoys sleeping with multiple coworkers and decided not to transfer. It is sad because my husband has destroyed our marriage - and for what?
I have to tell you I find peace in scripture readings and also from reading posts on your site. I think there are too many sites which discourage reconciliation. Again, I want to say thank you for all of your support.

Dec 09, 2016

by: Noel

It is a roller-coaster and it can take a long time to get the trust back. But if your husband admits he made a dumb mistake and will do whatever it takes to make it work, I suggest it might be the best in the long run.

One thing that can help make things better is for you to have some marriage counselling in order for both of you to talk about all the issues. I don't know if you can do that without professional help.

Good luck!

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