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my husband left me 2 months ago after 44 years of marriage. He had an affair over 30 years ago and was going to leave when our children where very young and I talked him into staying. That was approx 30 years ago. Last year I found out that he has a 17 year old daughter with this same woman so the affair wasn't over obviously. This daughter just found out last year that he is her father and he wants to have a relationship with her. I came home one day and he had just up and moved out( to an acreage that we have) . I told him that I had no problem with him having a relationship with his daughter and that I welcome her into our family but he says that he can't do that. Our children are grown up and have children of their own. My daughter won't have anything to do with her father now and won't let the grandchildren see him. She is very hurt that he moved out. Before he moved out she was also willing to welcome his daughter into our family but is very angry at him for leaving me. I never told them about the affair 30 years ago and never bad mouthed him to them. He told me that he just doesn't want to be married anymore and doesn't want to have to answer to anyone. I really want him back, what can I do?

Noel's response

The only thing I can suggest is that you be you, and not try to do things that you think will get him back. People are most attractive when they are being authentically themselves. He may come back and he may not, but at least you will be living an authentic life.

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