Seperate or Divorce

The Question

We have been married for ten years. We have two small children. My husband says that he never wanted to be married and he feels empty. He will be 35 next month.

He does not want a divorce, as he says if there is any hope for us a divorce would make it final and too late. He just wants us to get along, but he loves me no matter what but not the way I want him too.

He has been talking to a younger girl and says just talking is all. He will not leave.

This has been going on four months now, but he says he has felt this way a long time, like almost two years. He says he is drained and on empty but does not know how to fix it.

What do I do! I am badly hurt, because it is like my best friend has changed with a push of a button. Do I wait it out with him or since he does not want a divorce or separation do I surprise him with a divorce?

Noel's response

I recommend before you get a divorce that you see and counsellor to help you figure out what you want in your own life, and whether there is any hope of getting it while you are with your husband.

You might also let him know that whether he wants a divorce or not, it is definitely an option for you, and that if he does not get some counselling to help him get past his empty feeling, you will leave.