should i give my husband space or show affection

by Christina
(connecticut)

Husband is 33 and seems to be a textbook case of midlife crisis. Three months ago he bumped into his first love from 13 yrs ago and just so happens she works with his company. They work side by side and shortly after he cheated with her. He says that he never even finished the deed but nonetheless.


This was three months ago and he confessed to it three weeks ago to me. We have two little kids together and only want the best for them. Since his confession he has been resentful avoiding me and super distant. This must play into his midlife.

Anyhow...i need to know if its best to leave him alone completely giving him all the space and paying attention to when he may come around or should i begin to show him how much i love him.

He had told me once not to txt him that i miss him or love him before while hes working. He says it angers him but never did before. Dont want to push him away so im not so sure if i should show him affection cuz im afraid of losing him also to his ex.

He remains friends with her and im not sure what direction to take. I was even considering putting some jealousy in his lap to see if be would wake up.

Any thoughts and advice is greatly appreciated. Sorry for the long tale and thanx in advance.

Noel's response

It sounds to me that he is having more than a midlife crisis. If you are afraid of losing him to his ex, perhaps he was never really committed to your marriage, or maybe even his marriage with his ex, in the first place.

I suggest you ask him to go to marriage counseling with you, and if he won't go, at least see a psychotherapist yourself to help you figure out what to do.

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