Should I leave him?

by Gloria
(New Jersey)

In a week my soon to be 60 years old boyfriend, I am 52, are going on a cruise with our 90 year old and 87 year old mothers. This is my birthday gift to all three, boyfriends birthday is 11/23 and the moms are both in Dec. The only problem is that I feel unloved by my boyfriend although he tells me he loves me. We rarely have sex, I rarely go to his home, but we do still do things together but we usually part afterwards. I know he is still mourning his sisters death in April but I feel alone. I am thinking about leaving him by December because I do not think that things will get better. Everyone else has ownership over him except me. What do you think? We have been together a little over two years.


Noel's response

You have a better read of the situation than I do. If everyone else truly does have more ownership of him than you, chances are that will not improve with time unless the two of you work things out.

Have you talked to him about how you feel? Perhaps his idea of a satisfying relationship is different than yours. If so, you might want to find someone that meets your needs more fully.

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Jan 29, 2012
Update
by: Gloria

We went on the cruise and had a wonderful time. He even sang on the cruise for me. But Christmas was not an eventful thing. He gave me a card that was generic and no gift. He said that I deserved a great gift but he did not have the money. We argued about his ex-wife giving him 5 gifts which included a calendar, coffee pot, napkin holder, cologne and an umbrella. She also gave me several gifts and he did not give her a gift. I am taking him to Atlantic City this weekend to see one of his idols, Tony Bennett, and this is where I will break it off. I will tell him that I need and deserve a loving relationship where there is commitment. I want to be in a marriage and I know that he does not want the same. And in order for me to find that I must be uninvolved and not in a relationship since I am a loyal woman. This will be hard since I am in love with him but I am suffering too much. Anyone have a comment?

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