Should we do as he wants and leave?
My husband and I have had the most amazing marriage for 15 years. Out of nowhere he tells me that he just needs to be alone. He has been very honest with me about his feelings and swears that there is not another woman. He told me that he has been going over his life,goals,passions & our marriage over and over in his head. He knows that this is very sudden but he's not sure what is happening. His mind won't stop, he can't sleep, takes walks all hours of the night and says he feels numb. He said he loves me ,but right now he needs to figure him out. His work has on site housing so he can't move. He wants me and our teen daughter to leave & give him time to figure things out. He cries and apologizes for doing this. He says he hates himself and the way he feels but can't help it. I love him more than anything, he has truly been the perfect husband and father. he says if he doesn't get space he thinks things will not work out. He says this would be a temporary arrangement and he will pay for everything. I told him that I want to help him through this, not abandon him. What is the right thing to do? I give him space when we are home but its clearly not enough. I am encouraging him to talk to a professional but he said he will do it when he's ready. I don't want to lose him forever. What should I do...stay or go? Please help me, I am lost. AWNoel's response
What do YOU want to do? Moving out is a big thing. If he won't even see a counselor, what assurance do you have that he will not dither around for a long time? I suggest you talk to him about exactly what the conditions would be if you did move out, how long he thinks he needs, what he proposes to do to 'get things figured out' and then see whether it makes sense to move out.