Shows me no affection anymore, and I think there is another woman

by liz
(ireland)

The Question

we are married 36 years now he keeps avoiding me. We never do or go anywhere as a couple anymore. Two years ago he announced out of the blue that he was leaving. At that time I had a serious illness I really needed. His support. He decided two stay but has been ignoring me since.

He was always very loving two me before so I couldn't understand what I did wrong. One day I went through his phone and found a number I was not familiar with she had been texting him on numerous occasions, silly smutty jokes always on a Sunday when she knew I was out.

He works with this woman, and has been to several office outings or if someone was leaving they would have get togethers where he would come home very late and very drunk. Once I called his phone and she answered it at 3.20am. I asked her what she was doing with his phone and she told me they were having a bag of chips and a chat. I warned her to drive him home or I would go get him. She had him home within 10 mins. I saw her give him a peck on the cheek. He swears nothing happened but he never comes near me anymore and is totally a different fellow. Every time I meet her now she turns her head. She was always very friendly with me before. What do you think?

Noel's response

Sounds to me like an affair. I suggest you get some marriage counselling if your husband will go, and if not, you see a counsellor to figure out where you want to go with your life, with or without your marriage.