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Something that doesn't fit what I have seen here (or missed)

by Erick

To start I spent my life until age 36 as a very happy guy, never married did what I wanted (had a Harley) dated a lot. Choose what professions (owned my own biz) I wanted and did well. Met the girl I could not let get away and got married.

Now 8 yrs later I am 44 and depressed. I have a wonderful 5 yr old but I think that the marriage and my child may be the root... Yes my wife is a big league VP and I am now a man wife but that really isn't a big deal and I am good at it. Wait for it.... My life has slowed down and I have time to reflect on my past and on horrible childhood/alcoholic selfish parents that were married due to getting knocked up. No sexual abuse! just parents that seemed to resent having kids.

They divorced and after ten years of being ignored and doing what I wanted I grew up and had little contact or thoughts about them... Till my child.

Every phone call from them puts me into a funk that lasts a while and affects my family life among other things. I do not speak of any of this to my parents and they have started apologizing about my childhood at odd times and I just say it is okay forget about it and drop it.. So i do not go nuclear.

My new Dr. Is going to put me on Cymbalta (she knows none of this history). And your take?

Noel's response

My suggestions:

- your unhappiness has little to do with your marriage.

- tell your doctor your childhood history. It will help her help you.

- go to a few Al-Anon or ACOA (adult child of alcoholics) meetings (say weekly for at least three months). You will likely hear useful things at these meetings.

- if you are not seeing a psychologist, you may find it useful seeing one.

There is no sense making your wife and child pay for things they had nothing to do with.

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