Their Anger

by Kim
(Oregon)

Why do men who are going thru midlife crises become so angry with the ones of us they supposedly loved so much? I don't understand why they blame the wife and girlfriend for how they feel and say and do such hurtful things. How can their feelings change overnight? Please help me, Im still so lost and confused.

Noel's response

I talk about this on my Depression page. You will also find a lot of information about it on Jed Diamond's website: The Irritable Male Syndrome.

Comments for
Their Anger

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Jan 12, 2013
frustrated
by: pam

all at once he became irritable angry telling me to pretent he was notaround i was crying telling him i was lonely and sad he didnt care i cried in bed told i had a bad dream sorry you had bad dream i asked him to hold but he just went to sleep even acted i was ging to pick up mem he didnt careeverthing is about him he had a terrible chilhood so did i aked if he still loved me he said your backing me in a cornor hell i ileave iam ANGRY I Wanted to push him out the bed

Feb 03, 2012
Their anger
by: Anonymous

I am reading these comments and I am wondering if that's what I am facing with my husband of 21+ yrs. In one weekend, his whole demeanor has changed. He is angry all the time. And this anger does not need provoking. What can I do to help him? He said he doesn't know what is wrong, but he knows he doesn't like feeling this way. I think I am going to ask him to go the the doctor to see if he needs hormone replacement. I can't see myself with a very angry man for the rest of my life. I love him, but I would rather be alone than live like this.

Jan 10, 2012
anger in mid-life crisis men
by: Anonymous

Why is it with no due respect we all write similar questions but get the same answer, ie....go to The Irritable Men...or Depression Page etc. Can no-one tell us WHY these men get angry at their ex partners that THEY HAVE LEFT!!!

Dosent matter what i say/do or dont say/do im always in the wrong its always my fault. My ex thinks he is the bees knees he got a sports car, new clothes, is arrogant, selfish non communicative. I give him a mth in advance dates to let me know if he can have the children while i work etc, he has never got back to me in 9mths, i have to chase him via txt or phone call to get a reply. This year i decided im not doing that i have told him he needs to let me know...he replied that he dosent...i said i cant assume he is going to b at the skool gates to pick our daughter up on those dates im a responsible parent and i need to know that she is being picked up and cared for....he was verbally abusive and said "I WILL ALWAYS HAVE MY KIDS WHEN U DONT WANT THEM". dONT WANT THEM???? i never walked out on them im actually working when i need him to have them, we r still in the family home, he is in a caravan or his sister house, wether he is angry because he wants me out of the house and we havent fallen apart without him and getting on with our lives, i dont know but i dont understand why he is so nasty towards me as i have done nothing wrong, i am trying to keep a stable life for the kids. Please can someone tell me why they choose the life they got BUT they still act selfish, nasty and abusive towards us???

Jan 10, 2012
Husband getting meaner!
by: Anonymous

I've been married for 18 years...my husband was sweet in the beginning. We have two kids (14, 17) and he has worked for the railroad for past 10 years. He was always kind of a smartass before but for the past few years he has been down right mean. He's 42 yrs old.. never had an affair that I know of but is always accusing me of having one which I never have. He is becoming hateful to our kids too. Last weekend we went out and when we got home he was so mad that he ripped my clothes off, through me on the bed with no blankets and told me if I got up or tried to cover up then I'd be sorry then he went to the living room. My son heard this and asked his dad what was going on and he said oh your mom doesn't love me anymore. Honestly, after putting up with his verbal abuse calling me horrible names and telling me how worthless I am.. I think maybe the love is dead. To top it off we are in the middle of buying a new house...I think my husband was mean before but could he just be hitting a midlife crisis now and going to become even meaner? He seems so mad all the time...like he has a chip on his shoulder.

Sep 27, 2011
angry man
by: Anonymous

my husband every year gets worse thinks hes better than everyone else dis respects everyone cause he thinks they do it to him he was not like this 10 years ago he is just angry all the time expects everything done to be waited on hand and foot treats women like slaves if you let him i have let him for to long now that im standing up and biting back when he says something that i disagree with he now thinks im the one that has the problem he has the problem cause now he cant control me thats why hes pissed off i think i dont know what to do i dont know whether to leave we have three young kids together what should i do i cant speak to him about it he thinks that nothing is wrong with anything

Sep 18, 2011
Angry Husband
by: Anonymous

My husband left 9 months ago for a woman he went to school with 33 yrs ago, claimed to be madly in love after a couple of days of leaving and moving in with her. He is so angry and bitter towards me. Everything is my fault, he can see no wrong in what he has done or what he is doing, its all about his wants, his needs.

We have two sons aged 18 and 25, he has very limited contact with them, they are heartbroken, their father has changed so much they find it difficult to understand. All three of us feel as though he really wishes we would just disappear.

He texts the most hurtful things to both boys its shameful. Texts to me are hurtful, spiteful and damn right cruel. He tells me he's happier now than he can ever remember being, our marriage was a sham, blah, blah, blah. I feel I am the enemy in his eyes, I made him unhappy apparently! How I deal with it is to agree with him, yes our marriage was a sham and we should divorce asap, that usually shuts him up. His texts, I either ignore or agree with, again this makes him back off.

I blamed myself for our marriage breakdown at first but I have come to realize he is the one with the problem not me. He's in mid life crisis, he's got to blame somebody, he's not going to blame his new woman or himself, so he's blaming me and the boys. We have decided to get on with our lives and let him get on with his,.without us if that's what he wants, although I suspect he no longer knows what he wants, he seems so confused!

Sep 13, 2011
Angry men!!!???
by: Anonymous

My partner left us 5mths ago, he has got a red sports car, living between caravans and his sister's pub, is so cocky arrogant chews gum all the time, is so nasty and hurtful in everything he says i have asked him "why r u so angry when u have the life u chose" he can never reply. he never rings house to talk to kids 12, 8, he just txts my son when he feels like it, sometimes they dont hear from him for 2 wks, then he wants them when he wants them and gets nasty if i say short notice we have plans, i cant do anything right.

he is acting like a big kid, rumour has it he been seen with a 18yrs old, he is 41yrs old, deffo MID LIFE CRISIS,it is stomach-churning. Men become selfish but why angry at us i dont know, some say GUILT!! Im not sure

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