Trouble reaching orgasm

The Question


I am a male 44 years old and have been married to the same woman for 25 years. She is non-adventurous sexually, and even a bit of a prude.

Lately I have been having problems reaching orgasm with her, and any little distraction I lose my erection. I can maintain an erection and orgasm while masturbating but find it unfulfilling. I am horny all the time, and I only tried masturbation to see if it was physical or not.

Now my wife's attitude towards sex is even worse and she sees no reason to even try anymore. I feel like there is no relationship without sex, as I desire to have sex and have it often.

Any suggestions on how to resolve this?

Noel's response

I am not surprised that you are having trouble having an orgasm, and easily lose your erection. When we are young we seem to be able to have sex at the drop of a hat with any kind of partner, but as we get older, sex is more an emotional enterprise than a physical one. That means with a willing partner, sex is even more rewarding, and with an indifferent partner (which many women are at midlife, and especially after menopause), sex becomes more difficult.

My only suggestion is that you ask your wife to go to marriage and/or sex therapy to see whether you can improve your overall relationship, which may well improve your sexual relationship.

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