Two midlife crisis within 5 years????

by Fiamma
(London)

My ex partner was a 47 years old Englishman and married when we met, I was 35, lived in a different country in Europe. At the time he didn't have a good relationship anymore with his wife and they grew apart gradually. Before anything at all happened between us, he left her (and their daughter) and rented an apartment. His wife then started the divorce procedure. I moved to the UK and we moved in together just before the divorce agreement was signed. Our story was a real love story, like a Hollywood movie. We were very happy with each other and so proud of our relationship, talked to each other a lot and tried to help each other every possible way. I thought that I was his midlife crisis. But not. About a month ago he left me and said that he doesn't love me anymore which is totally shocking because he was so lovely and caring in the past months and years, too, and he spoke to me about an apartment that he may buy in couple of years and that it will be our real home. He is almost 53 years old and acts like a 25 year old man. Goes out very often with his mates of similar age, changes his clothes 3 times before he goes out, puts on so much perfume that the whole apartment smells etc... I truly love him and his financial problems never put the fire in my heart out.


I feel I am just so naive and an idiot that I couldn't see the signs of his fading emotions if the reason is this at all, but I just can't believe it. Should I expect anything from this man or the best is if I forget him? How long will this midlife crisis last?

Noel's response

There is no way to know how long the transition/crisis will last. When it is done, he may or may not want to be with you. My only suggestion is that you move on with your life, with or without him. If in the future he wants to come back, and you still want him to, you can decide than what to do. In the meantime you will not have put your life on hold waiting for something that may or may not happen.

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