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Unmotivated, but depressed

by Anonymous Please


My husband has been going through something and I'm worried about him.

We've had several miscarriages and finally he agreed to have a vasectomy to spare me the misery of getting pregnant again. He wanted more children, but we simply weren't able to have more than our one wonderful daughter.

He's been hoping for a promotion at work, but seems to be getting stepped on at every turn.

I've had suspicions that he was cheating on me, but wasn't 100% convinced and could find no proof.

He's forty and I am worried that he is heading into a depression that he may not be able to get out of. I have mild anxiety and tend to over-analyze, but he seems very unhappy.

He says he loves me and our daughter very much and that he doesn't plan on leaving us.

I don't think he would ever do anything to hurt us, but he doesn't seem to be making any moves towards picking himself up and moving forward. How can I help him find his happiness again?

Noel's Answer:

Your husband's symptoms are typical of a man going through a midlife transition. There may not be a lot you can do to help, except to let him know you love him and believe in him.

You may want to check out my "for women" page, and maybe get a copy of "The Irritable Male Syndrome" by Jed Diamond (there is a link to the book on the women's page).

Perhaps you can get your husband to take a look at this site, so he will know what is happening is normal, and that this too shall pass.

Hope this helps!


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