Wants a child at 55?

by Bonita
(USA)

The Question\


At 55 my (new sports car driving) husband is suddenly obsessed with having a biological child of his own. When we first met and married I had 3 girls of my own, all are adults now. He knew it was impossible for me to become pregnant but now, seven years later (I am 49) this seems to be the one thing "wrong" in our relationship.

In addition, this recession has hurt his professional career and our investments. He suddenly says he is bored, isn't attracted to me, doesn't share the dreams we used to have and doesn't want to be married. While he claims to have been unhappy all year (while he had a 4 month affair) this seems to have come out of nowhere and I was totally surprised. He is very depressed, doesn't want to talk about it and I am running out of ways to help while dealing with my own despair over the situation. Ideas?

Noel's response

He sounds as though he is in a midlife transition/crisis. Ask him to go to marriage counseling with you. If he won't go, get some help yourself in figuring out what to do. Chances are you have a lot of resentment about the affair, which may or may not be expressed in a healthy way in your marriage.

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