What could he be thinking?
(Palo Alto, CA)
My partner of 10 years fits every single midlife crisis symptom except that he's more relaxed, careless & feeling euphoric.
He been having affair and moved out to live with this new girl he met 2 months ago after I caught them at the hotel. My partner & I are in our early 30s, educated with successful careers. We are deeply in love with each other. Two months ago he started having headaches every day, which I thought were due to stress at work and the mortgage bill.
Then later all of the midlife crisis symptoms appeared but I did not know what they were until i found your site. He kept complaining that he's so bored with his life, nothing is challenging, but he is feeling high & relaxed. He can be agitated at times too, but then switches back to careless mode within 15 second.
****My question is, now he's with his new girl friend, what are his feelings toward her? *****
I've asked him this question before, and he says he doesn't care about her. She relaxes him, that is all. And it's not about sex at all because she's not even the type of girl he likes (which is true, she's not).
But she does look like his 1st ex-girl friend back from college.
He said he's not sorry for what he does, but he's very sorry that he hurts me, that's what is killing him because he's not a cheater and never cheated on me these past 10 years.
He doesn't even know what he's doing, he just wants to come to work, then enjoy being a free man with no stress or commitment.
****what is he thinking???****Noel's response
I don't know what he feels toward his new girlfriend, but I must admit it would amaze me if they are living together and not having sex. What else could she be doing that 'relaxes him', unless they are going drugs together.
As to what is he thinking, I don't know that either, but the real question for you, I think, is what are you thinking? Are you simply going to wait around until he decides (if he does) that he wants to move back with you?
What do you want in your life? What if he does want to come back, do you want to take him back. It can't be just the way it used to be, so what conditions do you want?