what do i do to try and relate to my ex husband

by shirley
(manchester)

The question

It has been five years now. He only texts me when really necessary, and I feel so much better that he knows I exist, but do I step back or go forward in trying to connect? He texts the children as if nothing wrong, and I still get mail for him that I have to keep saying he does not live at this address. Is it still the guilt that he feels he cannot be normal to me? I feel I have been the one being punished for something I have not done and don't deserve all this.

Noel's response

If it has been five years, it is time to move on. I suggest that when mail comes for him, simply write "not at this address" on the envelope, and put it back in the mail box.

Unless there is a particular reason, such as communicating about the children, I would not expect to be communicating with my ex-spouse.

I suggest you see a counsellor in order to help you see yourself as separate from your ex, and begin to move forward with your life.