What if your boyfriend is confused with his feelings?

by Justine
(Philippines)

I have a boyfriend. We have been together for, I just really don't know how to say it. But before he leaves the country, we've been for 16months. Then broke up for 2years because of some misunderstandings when he was already in England. And now, we got back on the track for 7months. He confronted me that he is in doubt of his feelings since he is not sure if he really loves me. He said that he keeps on thinking that he really love me when we are in good terms but got confused every time we get in fights (even because of petty things). Now he said he needs time. But the problem is he wanted me to hang on while I'm giving him the chance for himself to prove his doubts and to fix things. Hang on in the sense that he doesn't want to give up on us. But it gets so hard in my part because I really really love him while he is confused with what he truly feel. I can give the time he is needing but sometimes or even most of the time, I just can't get rid of the thought that he is just convincing himself that he really loves me. I feel like he's just going with the flow every time I say "I Love You". Now, I confronted him with all these unsolved issues between us and he tells me that if I want to get my freedom, he can give it back to me and he said he wouldn't force me if I can no longer understand his situation. I told him that I don't care about the distance or even the duration of waiting. I just don't want to stay in a commitment wherein I was the only one who has this "true feelings". Can you help me get through with this? I don't know what to do but one thing is for sure, I really really love him. Please reply. Thank You!



Noel's response

I have a friend who lived with a man who seemed confused about his feelings for her, never being quite able to decide if he really loved her. It was very hard on her self esteem. Eventually they broke up, and now she is with a man who is crazy about her. Her life is much better.

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